Sunday Thoughts: May 12, 2019

There’s nothing like a mother’s love. And there’s nothing like a daughter who learns to be the mother she needed.
— Danetha

This past Friday night, which is usually the night that is reserved for me and Nick, we decided to spend it apart. Nick went down to Santa Cruz to hang out with his childhood friend. And I decided to treat myself to a date night out.

It was a blast. Nick rode is motorcycle - and rode it FAST- through the hills. I do not approve. But, that’s what makes him happy. Sooooo…

I did what makes me happy. I visited my energy healer. Who gave me fabulous exercises to help open my heart chakra, and then treated myself to a fancy dinner in Walnut Creek.

Makeup did. Hair did. Dressed in my fave Ray Darten dress, I took a Lyft out to Walnut Creek for dinner at the new Bounty Hunter restaurant.

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As magic would have it, the restaurant was packed with only the bar area open. After standing for about one hour, I found an open spot next to two ladies who invited me to join them.

These two ladies were big in the Walnut Creek social and philanthropy scene. Both in their fifties, they had built successful careers and one donated half a million dollars each year to a local charity.

We had a fabulous conversation and I am so excited to learn insights from them on how to help more women achieve their philanthropy goals.

Here is a look into my week and weekend as a lifestyle entrepreneur.

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This week I gave a talk about financial wellness at a creative agency in San Francisco. If your company wants an expert to come in and chat about how shifting your money mindset can relieve stress and anxiety - and help employee’s perform at higher levels- I’d love to chat with you. You can email me directly at danetha (at) danethadoe.com to chat more.

Money & Mimosas

I am so excited about the Money & Mimosas and Walnut Creek Socialites growing partnership with Athleta. A company owned by Gap, a certified B-Corp with over 75% women employees.

Walnut Creek Socialites

I had a blast working out with the artist and Socialite, Vanita this week. We worked out at Omni Fight Club in Walnut Creek, did a swimsuit fitting at Athleta, grabbed smoothies at Vitality Bowl and had a money date on Friday to chat about business.

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After our Friday night apart, Nick and I were excited to do a hike together on Saturday. This is the Tennessee Valley hike in Mill Valley.

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The hike ended at this beautiful beach!

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After the hike, we grabbed some grub at La Marcha in Berkeley. This is a Spanish tapas bar. During happy hour, you get a free tapas with every drink you order. Yuuummmmmm.

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After happy hour, we ordered this delish paella from La Marcha!

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On Sunday, we went to a winery in Castro Valley. The views were gorgeous and the wine was divine.

Money & Mimosas
Money & Mimosas

For Mother’s Day, Nick and I decided to spend it at Chouinard Winery in Castro Valley where they had a live performance coupled with the tasting.

My OH My. What a beautiful location. The tasting included their champagne, rosé, and Alicante Bouschet. After the tasting, we purchased a bottle of their 2016 Chardonnay, cheese and crackers and enjoyed the ambiance.

As we watched the live performance, I also observed all of the moms with their children. As a woman who has decided not to have children, I love observing other women in their nurturing roles.

And since today is Mother’s Day, I couldn’t help but wonder what does it mean to be a “mother”.

The Webster noun definition is “a woman in relation to her child or children”.

Certainly that encompasses birth mothers. But, there are women who can not physically have children, yet yearn to be a mom. So they adopt, or volunteer, or seek out other ways to nurture children.

The verb definition is “to bring up a child with care and affection”. This feels more encompassing.

But, what about the aunties, mentors, teachers, mentors who have a profound impact on children but do not necessarily “bring up” a child.

So, I came up with an additional definition.

To engage a child with unconditional love.

There have been so many people in my upbringing that have shown me unconditional love. Those people did not usually include my mother.

Which I believe is the experience for MOST children.

While our moms showed us unconditional love at times, it was not all of the time. Nor consistent.

Why is this? For the moms that I have coached, their children are often times a reminder/reflection of areas that need to be elevated.

Children fuck with their moms’ ego, insecurities, sense of self, like none other.

To be a mom, is to sign up for your EGO to be CHECKED twenty - four- seven- three sixty five.

And beyond that, children are a reflection of where moms need to nurture themselves. To mother themselves where their moms were unable to. Which isn’t a bad thing. To require our moms to nurture all areas of ourSelves is like asking someone to do your workouts for you.

I believe moms are our personal trainers - to show us the exercises and provide an environment to learn- but YOU have to do the work. They are kind, compassionate, mean, unforgiving. And ultimately it is up to each of us to develop and show ourselves love, acceptance and compassion. While pushing ourselves to be disciplined, strong and ambitious.

Because we all have the responsibility to give ourselves what we need. Depending on anyone else to do that for us- including our mothers- is a waste of time and energy.

Happy Mother’s Day. And cheers to all of the moms.

And double cheers to all of us who have learned to be the mother that we always needed.


About Danetha: Danetha is a serial entrepreneur, investor and philanthropic advisor to women who want to make a BIG impact in their community. Money & Mimosas, her lifestyle brand, is a social club and financial education blog for ambitious women. Her work has been featured in Fast Company, Cosmopolitan and Entrepreneur. Danetha has been named a top 40 under 40 accounting professional by CPA Practice Advisor and a millennial entrepreneur to watch by the office of Congresswoman Barbara Lee.

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